March 19, 1990 – Monday

Eli was up four times during the night for the bathroom.

At 7:20 AM, I took Eli down to radiation.  I stayed in the waiting area while Eli had his procedure so I would be immediately notified once the process was finished, and I could attend to my son in case something untoward came up.

At 8:30 AM, Eli was taken to the recovery room. The ENT doctor came while Eli was in recovery.  The doctor did not realize that Eli was receiving a fast acting anesthetic so he wasn’t able to check on Eli’s condition.  He said he’d come back at 1:30 PM.  Before he left, he told me that he could see Eli’s tumor through the back of his throat and through the lining at the back of his nose.

I was horrified.  How could so many doctors miss this if the tumor was that visible?  It was mind-boggling.  I couldn’t say if it was incompetence on the side of the radiologist who misread the CT scans, or the doctors who no longer reviewed the scans themselves, but what was I to think?

I just bawled while Eli slept.  When he was awake, I did my best to hide my emotions because I had to be strong for him and I couldn’t let Eli see me cry.