Tag Archive | trauma

Survivor’s Mind : When Childhood Trauma and Poetry Collide

Book Link

From Amazon:

A dark and poetic look into the world of childhood trauma, family secrets and into the mind of a survivor. Written through tears and empowered by strength, each poem amplifies the voices of the shame, secrets and silence that accompanies the lifelong struggles of being a statistic in a world full of abused children. A window into her upcoming memoir, A Childhood Tragedy Under A Mother’s Watch. May these poems bring comfort and strength to those who can relate and an understanding to those who don’t.

My Review:

Top reviews from the United States

Mary Schmidt

5.0 out of 5 stars What pain was held inside

Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2024

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Mellon has taken on a challenge of writing poetic verse regarding childhood abuse of all kinds. And they are about her own experiences. No child should be abused, ever! No child should have one parent a monster and the other act blind about what was going with their very own child. Society says abuse is wrong, yet society also does not want to get involved, a large percentage of the time. To have repressed memories come forth from buried deep within oneself, Mellon has overcome what she endured, and now she writes books and poetry to express what horror she endured, and to help others is similar situations.

Yesterday

Good evening, everyone. I hope your Friday was awesome and your weekend will be even better!

I went wrong today by leaving home with my hair down for the first time in forever. Picture below taken before we left the house. I literally did nothing with it. I even joked with Mike about how long it had been since he could remember, and he could not. Do not get me wrong; he does see it down every day but I do put it up out of convenience when leaving the house. But I digress…and best get on with this saga…

So, we headed out on a nice easy drive to Kansas City and KU Med for my 3pm appointment. Things went well. Then I received a call asking if I could be there at 2pm. No problem. See you at 2pm.

Ring…could I come in any earlier? Like how early? She said 1pm. I replied yes, no problem, we were in Topeka, Mike had was shopping.

On the turnpike, I told Mike we should just go straight there, and I bet they would take me back even sooner. We arrived at noon and yes, we were escorted back to a room in less than five minutes. That said, my back pain was, at that time, 70% less than it was before back surgery and the wires leads placed to block nerve impulses from reaching my brain – perfectly working. So far, so good. The dreaded question I had been expecting, they did ask.

How did you fall and how did you land? I suffered a hard fall on my left ribs 11 days ago or so. A fall that should not have happened, theoretically speaking. Yes, I broke ribs. I know when I break ribs. This was not my first or even second rodeo with fractured ribs. This was number six – I think.

I knew they broke, and I am doing a self-assessment head to toe. Ribs broke, no lung puncture, not at that time, and hopefully never! One scrape and numerous contusions.

I managed to get up and go to bed. Long story short, the pain in my ribs was a bit better today, thus healing, in the remodeling stage was happening. Then I was informed that a chest x-ray would have been the thing to do. I said yes, but I’d monitored for lung puncture, etcetera. They understood that.

Then I was informed that a hard fall like that could have displaced the wires up my spine. I am thinking…but they were sutured to fascia. Yes, they were, but a fall still has potential to cause displacement. Okay. How is your pain? Back or ribs? Back 70% for the WIN. Ribs not so much. I was informed that being I was at 70% pain relief in my back, my wires must still be in proper placement. What a relief. No x-ray needed. But if it changed, I had to go to the ER for a chest x-ray, to see my ribs AND to check my current wire placement. We were in and out of KU Med in under 30 minutes.

I had free food and free play coming to me, so Hollywood we did go. I walked from the garage entrance to the escalator going up to Turn 2.

Keep in mind the casino filmed it all. We stop to read a sign and before I knew it a drunk woman plowed into my oxygen and literally dragged it with her to the floor, and past her quite a ways. As I felt it being yanked from my hand, I turned to the right and down I went. Hard fall. On tile. Hard tile.

The woman said, “What happened?” in a drunken manner. Mike’s first words back to her were, “She just had back surgery.” Mike was ticker off. His words were loud but he didn’t yell. Then he looked at me and saw I was down as well. The woman never got hurt, but the liquor she had carried smashed on the tiles. The woman was drunk. That is not how it is to be in any casino. Her group of friends were worried about their friend first, then they worried more about me after hearing Mike’s words on my back surgery, and my broken ribs. By then she was sitting in a chair and I was still down. I was angry.

What security did with the woman is their business. I had to self-assess once again. If one has broken ribs, and they fall, it is even easier to puncture a lung. Fortunately, I landed on my knees/lower legs and used my left arm/hand to stop me from falling further by grabbing the railing on the escalator at the bottom. I am down, leaning at next to the up escalator, no oxygen, in pain, doing an assessment.

Mike retrieved my oxygen; I got back on. Never mind the yuk my cannula had been drug through but hopefully the liquor it also went through helped to sanitize it. Mike carefully helped me up as he was the only one to know how to do it with my ribs and every thing. He is my hero. Always and forever my hero.

That fall took more out of me than I had thought. I told security I would be fine but, I shook shake like a leaf – more like quaking aspens in Colorado, I did that perfectly. We took the elevator up to Turn 2. We enjoyed a meal of delicious de-veined shrimp with sides. Relaxing meal. But I could not walk as long a distance afterwards. So, I hopped from slot machine to slot machine, not exactly hopping due to my pain, Mike helping me until I saw a machine I would play. Mike was my hero again.

Security had looked at their video, and then they found me…my card in a machine, etcetera. I asked how the other woman was, and he said she was detained by security and nothing more. He had to fill out a report on what happened for me to sign. The KCK fire department and EMS arrived, to check me out. My blood pressure was up. Saturations okay. Never hit my head. Declined ride to KU Med ER. I would have had a good eight hour or more wait to be seen and EMS agreed.

So, lesson learned. DON’T WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN.

BIGGEST LESSON? Jesus was with us the entire time. So many things could have happened but did not. Jesus was with us every step of the way. He still is. He always will be. Please – no nasty comments if you do not believe in Christ. Thank you.