your humble host
Try to paint emotion in thick when you have a dramatic scene.
Use more words than you think you need.
When Bonnie, the killer, is about to confront the random fisherman after the murder, YOU have the scene in your head. You’re seeing it in all its tension-filled glory.
But is the reader?
Did you put it on the page?
Deliver MORE than an adequate amount of info. For the scene to sear itself into the reader’s mind, we need to go bigger at those times. Have her holding her breath, wiping sweaty palms on her pants leg, interspersing thoughts about do I have a second kill I’m about to have to make? What does he want? Is this car a cop?
Then, dwell there.
Readers are reading SO FAST at those times (because it’s exciting), YOU can add and add and add and make us…
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When Angels Fly 