A Narcissist Destroyed My Life

Please welcome Nicole Dake to my blog. Good morning, Nicole. I’m happy to host you on my blog.


1. Please introduce yourself to those reading this blog post.

I am a blogger, author and mom of two.  I write about self improvement, parenting, mental health and personal finance.  I am from Denver, CO and currently reside in Germany.

2. Has writing always been part of your life and when did you “know” that it was time to start writing your first book.

Yes, writing has been a part of my life since I was a kid.  I always journaled, and I started writing poetry when I was in middle school.  As an adult, I started writing a couple of books that I never finished.  But then in 2021, I started blogging as a precursor to writing a book. 

I self-published my first book, Trauma Survivor’s Guide to Coping With Panic Attacks, in September 2021.  I don’t know if you ever know that it is time, you just have to do something NOW, even if you aren’t ready.  If you wait to be ready, then you could be waiting forever.  So no, I didn’t have any clear sign that it was time.  I just decided to go for it.

3. How difficult was it writing your first book?

Once I sat down to write, it was actually easier than I thought.  My first book was pretty short, and I finished writing in about 2 weeks.  It was information that was drawn from personal experience to begin with, and then I did additional research to give the book a scientific base.  I love to research though, so that part was fun for me.

4. Have you ever wanted to give up and what stopped you?

I think there are frequent times that I want to give up, when things aren’t going the way that I planned, I get stuck, or it feels like a chore to get up in the morning and write.  I have made it a habit to write daily though, so if I am not feeling it, I just write a journal or a bad rough draft, then figure I will fix it tomorrow when I am feeling better.

I haven’t given up because writing has always been a dream of mine.  I have read that it can take several years to make it a successful career, so I don’t want to give up when that might just be around the next corner.  I have worked too hard at this to give up.

5. Who is the most supportive of you and your dream to be a writer?

My boyfriend is the most supportive, for sure!  He proofreads a lot of my writing, and has tried to help me get over my overuse of exclamation points (somewhat unsuccessfully), and he celebrates all of my milestones with me.  I get some of my inspiration for articles from him too.  It really means the world to have a supportive partner!

6. Anything specific you want to tell your readers?

Since I write about mental health, and healing your life, I want to tell my readers:  Don’t ever give up on yourself.  You have the power within you to change your life.  Even if you just make baby steps, eventually if you keep going you are going to have a completely different life than the one that you started with.

7. What is the best advice given to you (book or otherwise), and by whom?

A mentor of mine in High School told me:  You get out of it what you put into it.  She was talking about a school club, but it applies to pretty much any situation in life.

8. What is your target audience and what aspect of your writing do you feel targets that audience?

For my most recent book, “A Narcissist Destroyed my Life: How do I Rebuild?” It is targeted to anyone who was raised by narcissists or in a relationship with one.  It talks about healing from that type or relationship, based in my own experience, with scientific information on how to heal as well.

9. Did the cover evolve the same way, or did you work with someone to make it come together for you?

I had an idea for a cover, then I posted on Twitter to find an artist.  I worked with Amy Smith (https://twitter.com/Amysmith26__) and she did a wonderful job.  I told her what I wanted, and she came back to me within about a week with a proof.  I was pleasantly surprised with the quick turn-around time, and the quality is amazing.

10. What are you working on now? Can we get a peek, an excerpt?

Currently, I have several projects started.  The one that will be coming out next is called, Practicing Buddhism in Everyday Life.

Here is an excerpt from the introduction:

It was a mindset coaching program that led me back to Buddhism, back to Mindfulness and Meditation, and back to myself.

Sometimes in life, we are looking for something without really realizing what it is.  I was looking for answers to why my life felt so empty.  I had everything that I was ‘supposed’ to have in life.  The whole dream of the white picket fence life in the suburbs.  Only, it felt like something was missing.  Everything was ‘fine’ but I was tired of fine.  I wanted more.

Only, I came to realize that more, in this case, was actually less.  What I really wanted most of all was to simplify, and to return to listening to my inner voice.  It was telling me that all the stuff, all the trappings of life wasn’t what I really wanted.  I wanted spiritual realization.  I wanted inner peace.

More stuff will never help you find spiritual realization. 

There is an old saying that, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  I have found that to be true in my own life.

My inner longing was what led me to starting a coaching program that would spur me on in the path to finding inner peace and spiritual realization.  Of all places, I found my coach, Tanvi, on Instagram.  Even with the whole influencer culture there, there is a lot of spirituality and positivity on Instagram, too.

About a year ago I enrolled in the program called Burnout to Badass, with coaching provided by Tanvi Chadha of We Wear Wellness. On her website she states her mission as, “I help ambitious women who struggle with negativity, overwhelm, and anxiety, to transform their mindset by shifting their limiting beliefs, and embody the BEST version of themselves through the power of SELF-LOVE!”

First, I started following Tanvi’s We Wear Wellness account for all of the positivity that I found there. She was so happy and upbeat that I was drawn to her energy right away! When she advertised in one of her videos that she had 4 coaching spots open, I emailed her right away because I wanted one of them. I needed to find out how to create an infectious, beautiful energy like that for myself!

11. Any last words before we wrap things up?

Thank you so much for allowing me to do this interview and to speak about my work, it really means a lot!

Links needed for:  Blog, author page, website, Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Amazon, Tumblr, Barnes & Noble, Instagram, etc.






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s